You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
