I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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