but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
