Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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