You just made me feel so damn special
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
