Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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