its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
