I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize