Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
