So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize