I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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