How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no you cant smoke seaweed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
