Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
