I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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