I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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