I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
