Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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