I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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