I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize