would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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