Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
