I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
