absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
