Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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