Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
