Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
