i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
