i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
