I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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