Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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