Sponge bath it is.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
