why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize