talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
