All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
