it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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