I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
