Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
