i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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