this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
