I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
