at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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