Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
