and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
