i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
