He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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