He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My vagina just clenched in fear
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
