As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
