Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
