If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
