whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
