Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
