it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
