I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
