he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
