I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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