I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
