I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
