You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
