it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
