i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize