just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
