did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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