i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
