also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
