You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
