are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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