No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
